Dissent

Hi god, it’s me Rija and although I know that all god’s creatures have a hand in the choir and some sing low and some sing higher, my family thinks the ones that sing low are going to straight to hell because they aren’t Catholic. So, please get out your scarlett letters and brand me because I have sinned. Luka is being baptized one of those protestant religions. As in, those protesting the Papal father.

And, I really wish that I had some great fundamental reason for not having Luka baptized Catholic like the fact that priests should be able to marry so that various pedophiles aren’t gallivanting through the church playing holy figure. But, I don’t. I can’t proclaim that I will return to the church when this is rectified. Nope, I have only the fact that I find it ridiculous that the church makes it so obnoxiously difficult to get a child baptized. Parish this, donation envelopes that. The envelopes, that is how they track you. Worse than the IRS, I tell ya.

So, excuse me if I find it refreshing when I talk to the protestant pastor and ask him about getting my daughter baptized and he says okay, what day works? That’s it. You sure you don’t want dibs on my first born or my left arm. No, okay bring on the potato salad. Except that it’s not that easy because of aforementioned scarlett letters and burning eternities in hell. I wasn’t going to invite my extended family since they live 2 hours away. It just seems like an imposition to have them drive 4 hours on a Sunday to witness my sins and talk hail mary’s behind my back. Then I start to think that someone may get their feelings hurt, so I run past my mother that I may just invite everyone as a courtesy. And people, she is hinting this and implying that until I yank from her tormented Catholic conscience that she would like for me to LIE to the family. She would never say this of course, but that is what she meant. And, I’m not sure if it is the Lithuanian or the Catholic guilt but she tells me that it will break my grandfather’s heart. This is my grandfather who spent two days figuring out which saint Luka was named after, settling on Luke in feminine form. That is when I realize that no matter what I do, the church still has a hold on me through guilt. For now, I’ll settle for made up godparents and hypocrisy in the name of the father, son and holy spirit.